


Escaping destiny

by Hello_Trash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel POV, Castiel can't be happy, Dean is possesed again, Destiel is coming though so whoops, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Tortured Castiel, probably, set after 14x9, thay may take a while first there is pain, these tags are a fucking trainwreck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-09-20 15:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17025549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello_Trash/pseuds/Hello_Trash
Summary: They got Jack back but...Dean is possesed and Castiel is in trouble.





	1. Happy

He had gotten Jack back home.  
That was all that mattered.  
Except... He didn't want to die again.  
And yes, he wouldn't think twice about sacrificing himself for Dean, or Sam and in this situation Jack.  
But he didn't want to go back to the empty.  
Like the entity had said it was worse than hell, because at least hell was something.

He just needed to forget about it.  
And never allow himself to be fully happy, that couldn't be that hard? Right?  
Castiel couldn't remember a moment in his long live he had been really happy.  
Maybe as a fledgling? But that couldn't have been long, heaven had gone rotten soon after he was born.  
Yes, there had been moments in between world endings and hunts were he had allowed himself to be happy, with Dean...and Sam.  
Should he leave the Winchesters?  
No. That wasn't an option. He'd rather die happy than never see the Winchesters again.  
And they needed him right now.

Like the empty had said.  
He needed to forget about this, about her..or him.. or it.

Dean walked into the kitchen interuppting Cas's thoughts.

''Morning.''

''You are smiling.''

''Yeah, that was a big win. We haven't had a big win with no strings attached in a long time.''

''You want coffee?''

''I'll make it myself, it's the least I can do. You did really good Cas. Thank you.''

''I swore to Kelly I would protect Jack, and I... -we couldn't let him die. That would've been wrong, he's still way too young, and I think we sometimes forget that.''

''We all assume he's as old as he looks, but in reality. The boy is two damn years old.''

''He's strong. I trust him with my whole being, and he has learned a lot in that short time too. It is really hard to know were we should draw the line, but I know I'm gonna be alert more. I'm gonna protect him this time.''

''You don't have to do it alone, you know that? Right Cas?'' Dean asked as he placed the two mugs on the table.

''Yes, Dean I know.''

''Good. Well, we also have a small win on Michael, although I don't like it one bit, Garth is gonna be our inside man.''

''The werewolf Garth? I thought he'd retired.''

''Yes, well. Me too. But Sam talked him outta it, he's gonna be really close to Michael and spy on him.''

''I don't think that's a good plan. It's a recipe for for disaster, and Michael will know.''

''Sam thinks he can do it. We have to give it a shot.''

''This is not gonna end well Dean.''

''Nothing ends well in this line of work.'' Dean said with a sigh.  
He took a gulp from his coffee and said;  
''We're gonna find the spear and end this.''

''Well, we'll have to locate Kaia first in order to do that.''

''Damn Cas, you really are the sunshine in my life. Why so negative?''

''I'm just stating the facts Dean, there's another war coming and right now, we are loosing.''

''Well. Than lets change that.''  
Dean finished his coffee and left the kitchen, leaving Castiel alone with his thoughts once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I hoped you enjoyed this first chapter, don't hesitate to leave a comment or some kudos, or both if you're feeling generous :)  
> I don't bite and love to read your opinions.


	2. Possesed

The team decided to split up, Dean and Castiel going to find Kaia and retrieve the spear as Jack and Sam went to search for the hyperbolic pulse generator Ketch had send them via mail.  
Things only went down hills from there.

Yes, Dean and Cas managed to get the Spear and Jack and Sam got the generator...  
But Michael had decided to show up and destroyed the generator and kidnapped Jack.

So, Team free will went in attack mode head over heels.  
Sam going in alone and getting Jack, Managing to escape the building.  
Cas and Dean joined them, they sadly had to fight Garth (who was under influence by Michael) but they were able to knock him out.

Now it was showtime.  
Cas was to go first, because Michael would obviously notice his precense, and hell. It was not like he had anything to loose. Not with the empty still freshly hidden in the back of his mind.

But Michael kicked his ass and than dragged the angel to his office, waiting for the rest to arrive.

And he didn't have to wait long, because they were already there.  
They had been waiting and Dean was holding the one thing that could kill him in his hands.  
That hellish spear.

In the end it didn't matter.  
Dean attacked Michael and had him cornered with the spear...  
When he suddenly hesitated.  
Castiel saw his back straighten and then, the female vessel of Michael fell to the ground.

''No...'' Castiel whispered.  
''Dean'' breaks the spear in half (Kaia was not gonna be happy about that)  
and turns around, anouncing Dean to be gone.

''No!'' Jack screams.

''I'm sorry Jack, but... not really. You all had to know I wasn't going to let him go that easily.''

Castiel had one more weapon left.  
It was a gift from Gabriel.

He gathered all the power he had and somehow managed to send Michael flying across the room, and although the piercing pain from using it all at once shot through his head, he darted towards the archangel lying on the ground and placed the special cuffs Gabriel had gave him on Michaels wrists.  
They could contain an archangel.  
He brought the figure up to his feet and let it stood were it had been standing before them.  
Castiel was out of breath and didn't want to fight it, he had to gain some energy again first.

''Dean? Are you in there?'' Sam asks, still hoping his brother can hear him, somehow.  
That just maybe, the cuffs had drawn him forewards.

''Dean is not home right now, please leave a message.''

''Go to hell.'' Sam spatt in his face.

Michael turned towards Castiel.

''You really think your stupid angel-cuffs can contain me?''

''They aren't just normal Enochian cuffs. Gabriel gave them to me, they are strong enough to contain Lucifer. So you, aren't going anywhere anytime soon.''

''There's no such thing.''

''Then kill me.'' Cas said, stepping forwards and looking Michael in the face daringly.  
''If there's no such thing, than use your powers and destroy me.''

Michael frowned.  
''What a strange being you are Castiel... It such a shame the empty will take you so soon... again. It would be a waste using my powers on a thing that is already lost.'' Michael's said in a twisted grin.

''Cas? What is he talking about?''

''Nothing, he's lying.''

''Owh? So Sammy didn't know about your little deal? You didn't tell the Winchesters! Well, it's gonna be a pleasure seeing Dean's face after I break the news to him. He was so happy having a win with... not strings attached.''

Castiel punched Michael in the face and the archangel fell to the ground.

''Dean, if you're in there. I'm sorry.'' He said when he plunched his Angel blade into Michaels leg.

''And Michael. Like I said, you're not going anywhere. Except with us.''

''Dean isn't coming back.'' Michael snarled.

''We'll see about that.'' Castiel growled back.  
He punched Michael in the face and he the archangel went limp.


	3. Silent

Sam was driving, Castiel sat shotgun, Jack was staring out the window quietly and Michael was laying unconsious in the back of the impala.

''Cas. What was Michael talking about?''

''It's not important right now.''

''To hell it is! He said you made a deal, what did you do?''

Casiel sighed, he had to know they were gonna find it out at one point.  
He just hoped he would've been dead by then.

''I did what I had to to get Jack back.''

''Castiel, just tell Sam. He deserves to know.'' Jack said.

''C'mon Cas.''

The angel responded with a sigh, but gave in and started to talk.  
''Michael was right. I made an deal with the empty. But I didn't have a choose, it was gonna take Jack, and I couldn't let that happen. So I told it to take me instead.''

''No offense, I'm glad you're here. But how?''

''The empty told me it wanted to see me suffer, to go back to my normal life. To forget about what happened, and when I will allow myself to be happy, it will come to take me.''

''Cas, no... We just got you back, why would you do that?''

''There was no other option Sam, and I don't regret it.''  
Maybe Castiel didn't want to die, but he still felt like he made the right choice. He doesn't regret it because Jack is here, with them. Alive.

''But it doesn't matter, I won't be happy for now. Not with Dean gone.''

''What are we gonna do Cas? Michael won't let him go this time.''

''I have a plan. Do we still have the electrics that Toni used so Dean could enter Mary's minds?''

''I think so.. Do you think that would work?''

''We have to let Dean know we haven't given up, and that he can fight Michael. He's done it before, and Michael left because of his strugelling. If he really tries he can banish him. I'm sure of that.''

''Okay, well.. Let's try it. What could go wrong?''

Nobody answered that question, because if you are a Winchester the answer was always the same: A lot.

  
They arrived at the bunker.  
It took all three of them to carry Dean inside, Castiel was glad he was still unconscious.

Sam went to the dungeon to get some chains and Castiel double checked the cuffs when Michael sturred.  
He opened his eyes and stared right into Cas's, not saying a word until Sam got back with the chains.

They tied him to the chair quickly.

''So, what does little Jack think about all this? You made a mistake young boy, you could've been in heaven. With your mummy.''

''I couldn't stay in Heaven, I belong somewhere else.''

Castiel smiled as he know what Jack meant.  
He belonged with them, his family.

''So. You got me tied up. Now what is the great plan? You're not going to kill me, because it would kill Dean too, but we all know he's not coming back soon, or... If I manage to escape which is likely... he may never come back.''

''Owh, I wouldn't be so sure about escaping.'' Castiel said, still haven't broken eye contact with Michael.

''Watch me do it, tonight. I will escape tonight. So tonight... everybody dies. Except for me of course.''

''Jack, help Sam with the electrics.''  
Jack and Sam left the room. Leaving Michael and Cas alone.

''He's upset about it, angry. Confused.''

''What are you talking about?''

''Your deal with the empty. You did me quiet a favor actually, he's even more silent now. He doesn't want to fight and come back, because when he does. He has the change of loosing his precious but pathetic excuse for an angel again.''

''It wasn't your right to tell him that.'' Castiel said trough clenched teeth.

''Well, somebody had to. I know for a fact you weren't planning on doing it. But Castiel, it's not like it matters. You are gonna die tonight anyways, and I'll make sure you are last. First I'll kill Jack, slowly, and painfully. Then Sam, owh and believe me... I'm gonna get creative with Sam. And then I'll break all the bones in your body, making sure Deans feels every snap of it, and cut off your wings.''

''Nobody is gonna die. Except for you Michael, and when we're done with you, you're gonna wish that Lucifer had killed you when he had the change.'' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheee,
> 
> So, I used the trailer for 14x10 for a lil bit of help, in the next chapter that's also going to come back a little bit.  
> I'm gonna upload every 2-3 days, I almost have a break off school (because Christmas n shit.) But I'll be in Germany with a friend for one week, so I I may upload less or not in that week :(  
> Anyways hope you liked this chapter!
> 
> Xoxo Laura


	4. Mind

They had conected the eletrics to Dean and Sam.  
Castiel had told Sam that he was able to travel into Dean's mind without them, also giving them an easy way out if things got too risky.  
Jack stayed behind, the thought of it worried Castiel, but he know the young boy was able to protect himself, and if things went wrong, Castiel would be able to hear it even though he was in Dean's mind.

Sam didn't feel the eletrics immediately, it was like falling asleep.  
He didn't fight the feeling but embraced it, slowly letting himself fade into the darkness.

''Where are we?''

''Dean's mind.'' Castiel replied.

''So where is Dean?''

''Excellent question.'' Castiel knew how a mind work, knew what it looked like. But the resemblance to the empty was big and it send an shiver down his spine. Sam didn't notice it, so Castiel began to explain what they had to do to find Dean.

''We are standing in the center of Dean's mind, if i'm correct we need to find a way to his memories. When I was possessed by Lucifer he locked me in one of my memories. I think hat in order to keep Dean quiet, Michael has done the same to him.''

''So.. how do we find his memories?''

''Keep walking until we find doors.''

''Will we know it when we've found a door?''  
''Well.. It looks like a door, so I think we would know when we've found one.. yes.''

Castiel wasn't really a big talker, and neither was Sam. So they walked in silence, and Castiel had nothing to distract his mind from going back to the Empty, at one point it became too much and he had to stop walking, he squeezed his eyes shut, but the black only got worse behind his eyelids.

''Cas? You okay?''

Castiel blinked, coming back to their mission.  
''Yeah. I'm fine, let's keep on walking.''

Sam nodded. And they went on.

They finally found a door, in white big cursive letters there was a name on it; ''Cas''  
Castiel swallowed.  
''Well, it would make sense.''  
''I- I don't know if I-..'' Cas stuttered.

But Sam had already opened the door and pushed Castiel inside.  
The room was full of screens with Castiels face on it.  
His eyes travelled to a particular corner  
Cas was covered with black gue as he walked into an lake and released the leviathans.  
He'd never seen it from this angle, nor did he remember walking into that lake. He was glad angels didn't dream, because he would have nightmares about it, he still sees it as the biggest mistakes in his entire live, the entire wall were screens displaying  
his mistakes. All the times he was killed playing over and over again, the times he'd let the Winchesters down. the times he'd let himself down and all seen from Dean's eye.  
This is what Dean thought about. Maybe not all the time... but it was always there in that small corner of his memories.

''Hey? You okay?'' Sam asked.  
''Yeah. I'm good... Dean isn't here let's just..''  
''Come see this for a sec.''

While Cas had been stuck in the corner re-living all his mistakes,  
Sam had walked through the rest of the room.  
He showed Cas screens that were happy memories,  
Castiel and Dean watching movies together on the couch, Cas, Jack Sam and Dean having an family dinner in the bunker. And all the rare moments when Castiel was laughing, right there in Deans mind.

Castiel felt something warm flow through his stomach, the same feeling he got when Dean was the one smiling at them.

''Don't linger on the bad thoughts man, there's so much more to see.''

Castiel gave Sam a small smile, and they left the room.  
continuing their search for Dean.

The next door was one labbeled with; ''Home''  
Castiel thought about what home meant for Dean, a little while back it would've been his car, and the brother sitting beside him in that car.  
Now it was the bunker. And yes, the impala still held that feeling of home, of nostalgic, but is was different from the bunker in some ways. The bunker gave them savety, family and a roof. Were as the impala meant adventure, travelling and uncertainty.

Sam and Cas stepped trough the door.  
Dean was sitting in front of the map-table, a beer on it and his laptop in front of him.  
If Castiel didn't know better he'd say things were normal again.

''Dean?'' Sam asked.

''Yeha Sammy, any news on Michael?''

So Dean didn't know he was a prisoner in his own mind, most of the times, people who were possessed by an (arch)angel or even an demon for that matter knew that they weren't in the real world.

''Is he here?'' Castiel asked.

''Uhm.. no? Should he be? Because to be honest Cas, I think that I have had enough Michael for the next 200 years.''

''Dean. You need to fight him.''

''Sure! I'm going to get my boxer gloves right now. Let me rest man, I need some damn sleep.''

''Don't you remember what happened?'' Sam asked.

''Yes, Jack is back. And I'm glad, really I am. But I haven't slept for at least 3 days, so I hope you guys won't mind if I-...''

''You're possesed by Michael.'' Sam said.

''I WAS possesed by Michael.'' Dean corrected.

''No, he left the door open, he's back.''

''So what, he just let me have a little chit-chat with you? He handed me the controler like that?'' Dean snapped his finger.

''He hasn't stepped down, he's the one in control, but he's unconscious.''

''Sam, we need to hurry. He knows we're here.'' Castiel announced.

''Of course I do.''  
Another Dean was walking off the stairs, well- somebody who was wearing Dean was walking off the stairs.

''Michael.'' Castiel growled.


	5. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everybody!  
> Hope you ate a lot of food and didn't get too drunk,  
> Here's a new chapter as a christmas gift from me :)

''Well, I'm suprised you guys have managed to get this far. But what exactly.. Is your plan? You thought I was just going to leave. Dissapear and leave Dean's mind clean and tidy with a bow around it? I'm sorry, but this time.. I won't let go that easy.''

''How? I didn't say yes.. Well that one time, but you left, I should've received an invatation before you decided to ride my body again. And not in a kinky way.''

''Dean oh Dean, like your brother informed you- I left the door open, just a bit. And I don't have to be invited to an already open door. We would've been wasting time. ''

''We are wasting time. Dean is going to fight you. He knows you're here, and he knows we need him.'' Castiel said, he locked eyes with Dean as he said the last words of that sentence, letting Dean know that mainly- Castiel needed him.

''We were always going to end up here. You're my sword Dean, my perfect vessel.. ''

''Owh cut the shit. You can shove your destiny crap right back up you feathery ass, I don't want to hear another word about it ever again.''

''It's true Dean, we are made for each other.''  
Michael waved his hand and Castiel was send flying across the room. He landed with his back against the wall, being pinned against it by an invisible force.

He saw Sam in a simulair postition across the room.

''Let them go.'' Dean said.

''Its their fault they are here. Don't feel bad for them, you always blame yourself for their mistakes. Wouldn't it be better to just loose them? Your brother didn't mind leaving you in the past, in fact. It seemed like it was the only thing he ever did.  
And that broken angel? You're the one who broke him.  
You're so blind. So naive. He rebelled for you, died for you, killed for you, he fell for you Dean. And in more ways than one way. I'm inside your mind Dean, I know you figured it out, you just pushed it down, like everything. You're a machine.''

Castiel wanted to shout, wanted to scream at Dean that he wasn't broken, and even if he was Dean didn't break him. He wanted to tell Dean none of it was true, but that would be a lie. Because Castiel knows, he had known for a long time know, that he indeed fell for Dean Winchester.  
But he couldn't talk because the force against his chest that was keeping him from screaming.

''Don't talk about my family like that. And if anybody is a machine here, it's you.''  
Dean suddenly held an angel blade in his hand, he swung it at Michael.  
Micheal held out his hand and send Dean flying across the room.  
''You think you can fight me with that? I'm too powerfull. Just give up already.''

''You're forgetting one thing.'' Dean grunted.

''And what exactly is that?''

''My head, my rules.'' Dean slammed his hand into an sigil and Michael screamed as he was banished from Dean in a blaze of light.

Sam and Castiel fell to the ground.

''If you used an banishing sigil, how am I still here?''

''Because I only wanted to banish Michael, and I have the control in here. From now on that is.''

''Dean, about what Michael said-''

''Not now, we'll talk about this later. In real life.''

Castiel knew what Dean meant, he wanted to talk in private. Not within the presence of the younger Winchester.  
''I will take Sam back, I don't know where Michael went but I haven't heard anything from Jack, so I'm guessing somewhere far away.''

''I hope we blew him right back to his own world.''

''Yeah, no. That would be too much luck on one day.'' Sam commented.  
''We're Winchesters after all.''

''We'll find him. He can't hide forever, but let's work on an more waterproof plan in the meantime.''

''We'll figure something out. We always do.'' Sam said.

Cas laid a hand on the shoulder of the youngest Winchester and zapped them back to reality.


	6. Talk

Castiel felt strange when they got back, like he was being summoned by something in the back of his mind.   
It wasn't important, right now.   
He needed to focus on his family.

Sam and him we're waiting for Dean to wake, it worried Castiel that he wasn't awake already.

''Should we do something?'' Sam asked.

Castiel walked over to Dean, he put his hand against Dean's forehead, letting his grace sowly flood to his fingertips and enter Dean's mind again.

''He's in there. Give him some time.''

Half an hour later Sam and Castiel we're still sitting before the map table, finally they heard a gasp.  
They hurried over to were Dean had been sitting.

''Hey, Dean. Calm down, breath.''

''Sammy?''

''Yeah it's me. Are you okay?''

''What happened? Is he gone?''

''Yes. We don't know where he is though.''

''Dean, do you remember what happened?''   
Castiel silently hoped that he didn't remember what Michael had said, avoiding what would be an uncomfortable conversation.

''You guys found me- Michael came.. He had his little scary villain talk and.. I banished him? Right?''

Okay, so there would be an uncomfortable conversation.

''Jack?'' Cas suddenly remembered.  
He walked to Jack's room and found the young former-angel sitting on his bed with his laptop on his lap.

''Cas! You're back!''

''Have been for a while know, Sam is here too.'' Castiel forced a small smile.

''How's Dean? Is Michael-'' Jack stood up, closing the laptop and leaving it on his bed.

''He's gone. I thought you would've seen him, why weren't you in the room with Dean?''

''uhm.. It was kind off.. Boring. So I thought I would get my laptop and go back there- but uhm.. seeing Dean, and you and Sam so lifeless.. It was not the best company.''

''Owh... I understand. Well, we're back. Fully. Will you join us when you've finished your computergame?''   
  
''Of course.''

Castiel nodded and left the room.

''He's okay.''

''Cas?''   
  
''Yes Dean?''

''Can we talk?''

''I guess this is my cue to leave.'' Sam stood up from his stool.  
''I'll be with Jack.. uhm.. find us if you two are done.. Or don't? Just.. uhm yeah talk.''

And Sam left the room.

''Okay, about what Michael had said.. God-'' Dean scratched the back of his head, struggeling to find the right words. ''This is gonna be impossible, but uhm- Wel.. He's right... I don't know when it started, but these feelings... I don't really understand them. I just know that they are there for a reason.. And I didn't think I would ever be able to feel them for a men.. But then again, you're not a man. You're an angel, so maybe that's even more impossible. I don't know Cas.''

''Dean. I- well.. In my short period of humanity, i've learned a lot about feelings. I know that they are complicated, and hard to understand. Just when I think I got the grip of them.. It turns out I'm wrong. But I also noticed that our friendsh- ...our bond, Is something else, something stronger. Dean.. what I'm trying to say is.. that I know what you mean, and that I feel the same way.''

''Damn Cas.'' Dean smiled. That one smile Castiel had grown to love, the one that was real, that existed of real hapiness.

''So.. What now?''

''We'll take it slow.'' Dean got closer, Castiel caught his staring at his lips, but he didn't mind. It was no secret anymore, they could stop pretending that they didn't do that.

Out of nowhere, Castiel felt a piercing pain in his head.  
He grunted and doubled over in pain.

''Cas? What's happening? Are you okay?''

''I.. I don't know-...'' He gasped as another round of pain pierced through him.  
''It's.. angel radio.. but directed-'' Another gasp. ''At me.''

''I have to go.'' Castiel found himself saying.   
Why? Why did he have to go? And where? Why was he saying this at all?

''Heaven troubles? You don't think it's saver you to stay here? Cas you're hurting.''

''No. It's important.''   
And Castiel stood up, walked to the door and got into his car. The pain as gone as fast as it had came, he felt kind of.. numb now.  
He drove. Not knowing where he was going but knowing he was needed somehwere.  
He stopped by an abbandoned warehouse.

Something about this wasn't right.  
Something in his gut was telling him he need to go back to the bunker.   
Needed to go back to Dean.  
But he didn't- It was like he didn't notice his feet walking.  
He didn't have control.

He opened the metal door.

"Good Evening Castiel." "It was a woman's voice, it sounds vaguely familiar. Than he was hit in the back with something and he fell into the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DESTIEL! DESTIEL? OWH WAIT NOPE- CUZ IM MEAN AND NOW CAS IS IN TROUBLE.


	7. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!  
> Have some angst to celebrate 2019.

Castiel woke up because of a slow steady dripping of what he assumed was a leaking pipe.  
He found himself tied up against a pole, there were ropes against his stomach, and his hands were cuffed with enochian cuffs, hands tied above his head. The cuffs were  
making his grace unusable, he could feel it stored away deep inside him, fighting to get free. His feet we're also tied to the pole, he couldn't move. Escaping was going to be really hard, especially if his captor was planning on hurting him.

He heard the slow click of heels coming closer.

The old vessel of Michael came into view.  
Castiel sighed and let his head hit the pole.

''Castiel, shame it has come to this. But you and your precious _humans_ left me no other choice.''

''Don't use that tone when talking about them. You said the word humans as if they are something poisonous. We we're supposed to guard them, keep them save. They aren't any less than us. But you had to make this... mess. You and Lucifer, you are both just as bad. When will you accept the mission our father gave? To watch over humanity.''

''I know you praise them, praise Dean Winchester.. and I'm saddened by my timing. But you have to understand .. I saved you. Being attracted by an human is one thing.. but you choose the same gender as yours Castiel. That is a mistake. A sin.  
And Humans don't deserve praise, they are toxic. They destroy, wage wars, murder. I simply want to change that, stop their suffering. I'm not an enemy Castiel. I'm giving you one chance, help me bring peace to this earth once again.''

''By killing every human but leaving this world to every monster there is? My loyalty belongs to the humans. With all their flaws. Now, is this all you want? Because I have a feeling you were prepared for this answer.''

''I indeed was. You and Sam ruined my plan, took me away from Dean. Now.. I'm gonna call the Winchesters...'' Michael held Castiel's phone in front of his face.  
''...and you are going to scream, So they will run right into my hands. And I will posses Dean and kill both you and Sam.''

''I don't know if you've noticed. But me and Sam don't agree to the whole dying thing. And you need a yes from Dean once again. As he has expelled you and closed the door.''

''Owh I will get that yes alright. I'm going to carve it out of you Castiel. He will beg me to stop and hurt his _true love_.''

Michael searched for Dean in Castiel's contacts.  
He hold his phone in one hand while he was holding an angel blade in the other.  
''Hello Dean.''

Castiel couldn't make out the reply from the other side of the phone.

''I have something of yours. He says hello.''  
Michael brought the blade down in Castiel's stomach, tearing a straight red line of blood mixed with grace through his white shirt.

Castiel bid his lip to prefent himself from screaming.

Michael muttered an Enochian phrase.

Castiel screamed in Agony when he felt the impact of it.  
It felt like hundreds of angel blades were tearing into every cell, bringing fire to his body, his being. His grace.

'''He screams very nicely. I will certainly enjoy my time with him.''

''Don't use such language, it will not help your angel. Now, something that will help Castiel is one simple word. Meet me and face your destiny Dean. Or I will torture Castiel for all of eternity and he will wish he was dead.''

Michael hang up.  
He muttered another phrase and the feeling of being ripped apart stopped, leaving Castiel sweaty and gasping for breath.

''I have to admit, I though you wouldn't break that easily. You seemed stronger than that. But now I know were your boundaries are, the things that are to come are going to be so much more enjoyable.''

''Go to...hell.'' Castiel rasped.

''Angels don't belong there. Except Lucifer.''

The heels clacked across the room once again, Michael was doing something away from Castiel's view. 5 minutes later he came back with a tray of torture devices.

''Let's get started, I assume you are familiar with holy fire?''  
Michael asked as he slipped on some black leather gloves.

Castiel didn't reply.  
''I'm gonna take that as a yes.''

Castiel watched with wide eyes as Michael carefully took a can of holy oil and poured it over what looked like an whip, Michael hummed as he lit the end of it on fire with a snap of his finger.  
Michael was going to scourge him with holy fire.

''Don't.''

''Are you begging Castiel? You still don't see it? Dean Winchester has made you weak. You're broken, completly destroyed by humanity.''

''I'm going to fix you Castiel, but first you have to pay for your sins.''  
Michael ripped open Castiel's white blouse.  
Castiel gritted his teeth and closed his eyes when he saw Michael raise the scourge.

He brought it down on Castiel's stomach and Castiel's entire world changed.  
There was only fire, the hot burning searing pain that flew through his body.

He screamed and screamed as Michael brought the scourge down again and again, never stopping and never wavering.  
Nobody was going to hear Castiel's screams.

For the first time in a while,  
Castiel felt alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s.  
> Even Michael knows Destiel is real.


	8. Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this fic in a while. I was in Germany visiting a friend.   
> But now I'm back with even more angst, just remember; it gets worse before it gets better. :)

After what felt like hours, Michael finally stopped.

''Have you learned your lesson Castiel? Will you stand by me?''

''No.'' Castiel said trough closed teeth.

''You're divance will not help you, Dean and Sam will come for you, and they will see you standing by my side.''

''I will never stand by your side, you'd have to kill me first.''

''Owh, but I don't want to kill you, you're a lost cause anyways. With the empty and all...''  
''Than why this? Why go through all this trouble of torturing me and teaching me a ''lesson'' When I'm going to die anyways?''

''Because you will never truly be happy if you are fighting against Dean Winchester, or when I have possesed him. And there are almost no angels left, I need every single one in my army.''

''They will never follow you, like I will never follow you, save yourself the time and kill me.''

''No, I need you.. to get to Dean Winchester.''

''He will never say yes.''

''Then I suposse you all die.'' Michael left the room, he let Castiel hang and bleed.  
Castiel couldn't heal because of the cuffs keeping his grace stored away. But he was still too much Angel to bleed to death.

Two hours later Michael came back and everything got so much worse.  
____________________

''Why is it always a creepy warehouse?'' Dean sighed as he parked the impala, they had traced the phonecall to this adress and ignored all the stop signs on the way.

''Dean, before we go in. You know Michael will do everything in his power to get you to say yes.''

''I know.''

''Promise me you won't, even if he hurts Cas.''

''I can't Sammy... We just got him back. And it- it's complicated between me and Cas right now, I don't think you'll understand.''

''I think I do.   
But you can't say yes. We will get Cas to safety, but not by saying yes.''

''I can't promise I won't let Michael in, but we're gonna put up a hell of a fight before it even comes to that point it's my last option. I won't go willingly.''

They went into the warehouse, guns in front of them. If they came across Michael they knew it wasn't going to hurt the archangel, but going in with guns first had become more of a habit. And who know what other creatures could be lurking in the shadows.

Eventually they stumbled across a door with what looked like Enochian signils on it.

''You think Cas is in there?'' Sam asked.   
But before Sam got an reply Dean had already knocked down the wooden door.   
Dean and Sam stormed inside.

''Cas!'' Dean screamed running over to the figure hanging from the ceiling.   
When he got closer Dean realized with horror that he wasn't hanging by his hands.   
Cas was hanging from the ceiling by his wings, hooks driven trough the beautiful black feathers, creating two big bloody holes.  
The rest of his body wasn't much better, there were burnmarks all over his stomach allong with a sea of cuts and bruises.

Castiel peeled his eyes open, they we're glazzy and overshadowed by pain.

''Hey, hey. You're okay, I've got you. We're here. We're going to get you out.''   
Dean said holding Castiel's bloody face between his hands.

''Sam! Help me get him down!''

Sam ran over to were Dean was standing, he seemed just as horrified about Cas's condition as Dean.

Dean lifted Castiel to take the weight of the wings, Sam was tall enough to reach the hooks in Castiel's wings.

''I'm sorry Cas, but this is going to hurt like a bitch.'' Sam muttered.

Sam didn't waste more time they didn't have and pulled the hook going through Castiel's right wing out as fast as he could.

Castiel shouted in agony. Dean was suprised to see tears forming in the angels eyes.

''Hey, it's out. Only one left, You can do this Cas. Just take a deep breath.''   
  
Sam walked around Cas and Dean to reach the other wings, he himself also took a deep breath and pulled the other hook out.

Again Castiel shouted out in pain, Dean slowly brought him down.  
''Cas? Cas can you walk? We have to go, Michael can be back-..''

''...Every second.''

Sam and Dean were holding Cas between them when Michael appeared out of nowhere.

He waved his hand and Sam and Dean were send flying to the wall, once again held against it by an invisible force. Castiel fell to the ground.

''Did you know, that angel wings are the most sensitive part about an angel? They are attached directly to Castiel's grace. The agony he must have felt when his entire body was hanging on them.. it's a shame it had to go like that. But I must say-''

Michael placed a feet on Castiel back, pinning him to the ground.   
Cas hissed as his ruined stomach touched the cold cement.

''... I'm curious to say how much Castiel can take before he starts begging me to kill him again.''

''Don't you dare! Leave him the fuck alone you evil son of a bitch!''

''Dean- oh Dean. You can avoid it all, save your boyfriend so much suffering give me just one simple yes and I'll spare Castiel's wings.''

''D-don't.'' Castiel grunted out.

''No? Nothing? Well, let's do it my way then.'' Michael picked up the angel blade that had fallen out of Dean's jacket and pushed it through Castiel's wing.  
Castiel tried to hold back the sound of his real form screaming as another bloody hole appeared in his right wing.


	9. Drive

Dean couldn't stand this, he needed to do something.  
But he couldn't say yes, not again.  
He didn't want to be possesed again, he didn't want to be trapped inside is own head and helpless again.  
He also couldn't watch Cas suffer anymore.  
This was one fucked up situation.

''Want me to add another hole to the collection Deano?'' Michael sneered.

''Go to hell.''

''Interesting point, do you know where angels go when they die?''  
Castiel grunted as Michaels feet was taken off his back.

Michael walked over to Dean.  
''They go to the empty. And I've told you before, Castiel is claimed by it. He traited himself for Jack, and he's going to die. I can give you all mercy, kill him now. That way he doesn't have to suffer anymore. Or.. you can say yes Dean. And ...maybe I'll let him live happily ever after.''  
''I will never say yes.''

''Say goodbye to your boyfriend then.''

Michael walked over to where Castiel was still lying with his face flat on the ground.

''No!'' Dean and Sam shouted together.

''I don't want to hear no Dean, I want to hear yes.''

Michael raised the angelblade above Castiel.  
Castiel closed his eyes, but when nothing came he slowly opened them again.

Michael had been pierced by an archangel blade, blue light shining from his eyes as his grace burned out.  
Finally he fell to the ground, Castiel had to roll over so the now empty vessel didn't fall on him.

When he looked over to where Michael had been standing, he saw another familair face.  
''Jack.'' Castiel gasped.

Dean and Sam rushed over to Jack and Cas.  
Jack had been staring at Michael's body and dropped the blade in horror.

''Dammit Jack! I told you to stay in the bunker. How did you even get here?''

''I took... a bus.''

Sam huffed.  
''Don't be so hard on him Dean, he saved Cas.''

''Yeah, he got lucky! You've got to be more careful Jack, you're human now. And Michael could've killed you in a blink.''

''But he didn't, I killed him.''  
''Guys, let's just do this home?'' Sam said.

''Fine, but I'm not done with you yet, young man.'' Dean pointed his finger at Jack.  
Then he crouched down next to Cas.

''He's unconscious, shit. Michael really did a number on him.''

''Isn't there a spell to make his wings dissapear? I don't think they are gonna fit in the impala.''

''They have to heal first anyways, I think we have to fold them.''  
Dean carefully lifted Castiel in his arms.  
Surprisingly, the wings didn't weigh that much, Castiel was another story, he always seemed like a skinny guy, but he had a lot of muscle.

''We're gonna have to cut back on the PB&J'S Cas.'' Dean grunted.

They made their way into the Impala, Dean had layed Castiel in the backseat. The angel hadn't woken up, but grunted in discomfort as his wings were folded to fit inside the car.

''Sorry Cas.'' Dean muttered as he stroked some strands of hair out of Castiel's face.  
He walked around the car and took place on the drivers seat.  
Cas took in the whole backseat, so Sam and Jack had been cramped in one seat.  
This was going to be a long drive.

''How did you even get that blade?'' Dean asked Jack after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

''Gabriel gave it to me before he died, he said I could use it on my dad if it came to a point where it was needed.''

''Huh, still doesn't seem right the guy was on our side all along after all.''

''I think he always was Dean. He was just scared, which I get. His family was even more messed up than ours.'' Sam said.

''Yeah, but Cas was still out there fighting the fight while Gabe was in hiding.''

''Dean. Asmodeus had him for a long time, don't forget that. He took a big one for the team, and I really hope he isn't dead, that he managed to pull another trick on Lucifer.''

''He has a few up us sleeve, I don't think we've seen the end of him just yet.''

Cas grunted in the backseat.

''Cas? Hey, you with us?'' Dean asked wanting to turn around and look at the angel really bad, but keeping his eyes on the road instead.

''I'm not dead... so yes.''

''Good. How you feeling?''

''Not that good, are we almost home?''

''We still have a few hours left to drive, just try to get some rest okay? Maybe it will help you heal.''

''I- i don't sleep...''

''You're drained man. Just close your eyes.''

Castiel let out a painted gasp as he shifted in a more comfortable position in the backseat, and after a while Dean could hear him snore slightly, he let his hands relax on the wheel a bit.

He kinda wished Michael's dead hadn't been that fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Sorry for not updating in a while, school started again and i'm being loaded with homework. :(  
> I have a somewhat longer chapter than usual to make up for it though. 
> 
> Don't be scared to tell me what you think of the story this far. :)


	10. Damage

There didn't seem to come an end to the drive back to the bunker,  
But eventually, they made it.

Castiel had waken up halfway and couldn't fall back into sleep.  
He still was in a lot of pain and had no clue why his healing process was this slow, he guessed it was of his wings being hurt too, but it didn't explain why his other injuries hadn't started to heal yet.

''Can you walk? Or do I have to carry you again?''

'' I'm fine Dean.''

''You don't sound fine.''

''I can walk by myself.''  
Castiel stepped out of the impala stubbornly but immediately fell to the ground.

''You sure about that?''  
Dean gathered Castiel in his arms carefully as Cas huffed in annoyance.

They walked straight to Dean's bedroom as Jack helped Sam get some stuff to clean Cas up a bit.

Meanwhile Cas and Dean we're arguing like a married couple because Cas wouldn't take his clothes off.  
''Cas, stop being stubborn. I need to take a look at those wounds, they haven't stop bleeding yet!''

''There's no need Dean, my vessel will heal itself like normal.''

''Even you know that's a lie. Just loose the trench and your blouse Cas, please.''

Cas rolled his eyes but did what Dean said, he untied his tie and undressed.  
He himself was a bit suprised at how bad he looked, there was a big deep cut, still bleeding in his stomach, and some smaller cuts and bruises that shouldn't be there anymore.

Dean seemed even more shocked, he covered his mouth with his hand and looked at the damage as if he didn't know where to start.

''We need to fix my wings first, I think they may be keeping the rest of my vessel from healing.''

''Okay.. but jezus Cas. I don't know how you possible could be bleeding like this after these wounds had so much time to heal!''

''My grace-..''

''Your mojo is good right? And even an human would've stopped bleeding by now!''

''I'm not at full power, but my ''mojo'' is the strongest it's been in a long time. I haven't stopped bleeding because these wounds are made by an angelblade, they are meant to cause me a lot of harm. Which they did.''

Finally, Sam and Jack entered the room.  
Sam was holding the emergency kit and a few towels and Jack was focused on not dropping the bowl of warm water he was holding between his hands tightly.

Cas sighed and let his head fall back on the bed, he hadn't been looking forward to this part.

''Okay, so.. how do we fix your wings? Do we just stitch them up?''

''Yes. But they need to be cleaned first, and I think Michael may have broken my metacarpal bone, that needs to be placed back or it won't heal properly.''

''Uhm.. okay.. and which bone-..''

''I'll do it Dean.'' Sam shoved his brother aside. Dean looked grateful, he didn't want to cause Cas any more pain.

''Cas, can I compare your wings to those of a bird? Or is there a really big difference I should know about before I do something?''

''Yeah.. I guess my wings are almost the same as those of a normal bird. They're just bigger and contain a large part of my grace and being.''

''What does that mean?'' Dean asked concern clearly showing on his face.

''That I will need something to bite down on.'' Cas said with a tired smile, the pain was really getting to him now and he just wanted to rest.

''Please.. just, do it fast.'' Cas almost pleaded.


	11. Towel

Castiel took a deep breath and braced himself as Sam's hand settled over his broken metacarpal bone.   
Dean had ripped a small piece of towel apart which was now placed in Castiel's mouth.

Castiel tried to focus on the texture of the towel so he didn't have to think about what was about to happen.  
It felt unpleasent in his mouth, the towel was probably really old and the fabric washed many times which made it anything but soft.

Sam had started to count.  
Castiel forced his thought back to the towel.  
It didn't taste like anything, but if Castiel took apart the molucules it could be described as a salty taste, kind off bitter.   
The weird taste could be explained by the fact that the towel still had   
little remains of soap on it.

''SNAP''

Castiel's back arched and he screamed, he bit down hard on the soapy towel. The room was spinning. Although Sam's hand had dissapeard of the wing and Dean's hand was currently on his shoulder trying to keep him still so he wouldn't hurt himself worse, the pain didn't dissapear and Castiel didn't stop moving and thrashing.  
His breathing came in short hot gasps against the towel as he rode the aftershockes of the pain.  
Dean wanted to remove the towel, but Castiel shook his head violently.  
He needed it.  
Castiel forced his thoughts back to it once again to calm down.

If home would have a taste, would it be this soapy towel?   
Or the taste of blood in his mouth which reminded him of heaven?  
Maybe it would be Dean's black coffee, or his pie.  
The taste and smell of greacy junkfood which always lingered in the bunker, even if there was no junkfood in sight at all.  
Those smells and tastes we're his home. Not the blood left in his mouth from a battle, heaven didn't feel right to be called home anymore.

Once Castiel calmed down a bit, Dean tried to remove the towel once again. This time Castiel let him, as the pain was not firery and constant anymore but rather a throbbing reminder every now and then.

''You okay Cas?''

Cas nodded.

''We're not done yet, we still have to stitch them. But we can take a break, let's clean you up a bit before we move on. How's the pain?''

''More... bearable.''

''Good.''   
  
Maybe home was the smile Dean gave after he said that.   
Or the small light that shone in Dean's green eyes just right.

''I'm gonna go out for some dinner, Sam and Jack will clean you up. You're gonna be okay?''

''Of course Dean.''   
Castiel tried to return Dean's smile but he felt it was a little weak on him right now.

''Okay, see ya later.'' Dean tussled Castiel's hair and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before leaving the room.

Sam helped Castiel sit straight in bed, and started to clean the wounds with the towel dipped in warm water.

''It seems they finally stopped bleeding, they still don't look good though.''

''It will need some time... But I will heal.''

''Good.. So Dean and you, you're uhm.. official now?''

''If with official you mean in a relationship, I don't know. We haven't had time to really talk yet, but we're getting there.''

''Knew it, It was taking too damn long man. I almost thought I was going to tie you both down and force you to talk about your feelings. Or that I was going to drag dean's ass out of that stupid closet.'' '

''Well, I'm not going to deny that that has crossed my mind a few times too.''   
  
Suddenly Cas noticed how oddly silent Jack had been during the conversation.

''Jack?'' he asked.

''Yes, Castiel?''   
  
''Is everything okay? You seem a bit quiet.''

''No-No.. I'm fine. Everything is okay.''

Yeah no, Castiel could see right through that act.  
  
''What's on your mind Jack?''

''Uhm... I'm just afraid.I-I guess..''

''Of what?''

''The deal you made. What did the empty mean by that? A-are you gonna die again soon? I- I don't want you.. to leave again...''

''Jack... I don't regret what I did, I will do it all again in a second without hesitation. But the empty.. it will only come to collect me when I'm truly happy.. And I know it's sounds quiet sad when put into words, but I've never had time to really find happiness in my long life. Before the Winchesters they're only always was the mission. Nothing came before duty. And yes, meeting Dean, Sam and Bobby.. I'm forever grateful for that, and they have brought me some of my happiest moments on earth. But even being in a relationship with Dean won't mean that I will be happy... Because some part of me will never allow me to.''

''So you won't leave again?''

''No Jack. You're going to be stuck with me for some time.''   
Castiel smiled.

Sam put a comforting hand on Castiel's shoulder and said;   
''I know this sound shitty, but I'm glad you're not happy man. We need you.''

''I know.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! I'm really suprised at how much I liked this chapter, this may be my favourite I wrote so far :)  
> Hoped you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it.


	12. Feathers

The next few days allowed Castiel to really get some rest, he didn't sleep of course. But by not moving his body was relaxed and would heal faster.  
When Dean wasn't asleep or on a hunt with Sam they would sit in Castiel's room and watch movies, movies that had been brought out recently so Castiel wouldn't spoil the entire thing because of the knowing every book/movie thing Metatron had done to him.

Dean closed the laptop after their third movie in a row and asked Cas something.

''Why are your wings still here? It's been weeks.. aren't they healed yet?''

''I've grown used to them like this.''

''Owh.. But you can still put them away?''

''Do you want me to? Don't you like them?''

''Are you crazy?! I think they're amazing. They're the most badass things I've ever seen and when you have them out like this it's like you're.. more you. If that makes any sense.'' Dean caught himself blushing like a three year old but he couldn't find it in him to care.

''Can- Can I touch them?'' Dean had been tempted to stroke through the black feathers since Cas had them out and in the open like this, but he thought that Cas still had them because they weren't fully healed so he didn't dare to ask.

Castiel seemed to think about that for a minute.   
But he eventually nodded with a hesitant smile.

Dean carefully stroked his hand through a couple of feathers.  
''Woah.. They're so soft.''

''Mmhpff...'' Dean looked over to see if Castiel was okay with this and actually saw the angel biting his lips while his eyes were closed.

''Is this really okay Cas?''

''It's fine Dean.. It's just a kind off an intimate gesture... it's a bit overwhelming to say the least.''

''But in a good way?'' Dean grinned.

''A really good way.''

So Dean took it on himself to have touched every feather there was on Castiels wings, he seemed to have reached a weak spot when Castiel trew his head back and actually moaned.

''Dean-...''

''Ssshtt, don't ruin the moment.''

But because Cas was Cas that was exactly what he did, he spread his wings out and folded them around Dean, so now they we're both sitting in a really dark, and warm cocoon of feathers.

Dean couldn't see shit, so he almost jumped when he suddenly felt Cas's lips on his.  
He'd waited so long for this, fantasized about this moment so many times, but nothing could actually compare to the feeling of Cas's extremely soft lips against his.

Dean placed his hand on Cas's jawline, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.   
He could feel Cas smile against his lips.  
''I love you..'' Dean managed to gasp out between kisses.

''Don't ever leave me again.''

''I will always find my way back to you Dean.''

''I know Cas.''

''I love you too Dean.''

''I know Cas.''

Dean fell asleep naked that night, with Cas' arms and wings around him.  
He didn't have any nightmares.


	13. Morning

The next morning it was like Castiel was flying once again, although he probably would never be able to fly for real again, this feeling was probably the closest he was ever going to get again.

He went to the kitchen to get some coffee in a comfortable bathrobe Dean had offered him. Dean himself was also wearing one.

''G'morning sunshine.'' Dean said as he walked over to Cas and planted a kiss on Castiel's cheek.

Sam looked up from his laptop, he was sitting at the kitchentable and his eyebrow shot up as he seemed to connect the dots.  
Dean grinned and winked at his brother.

''Oh my god, I didn't need comformation Dean jezus. Now I'm seeing it. I need a shower.''

''Nothin' to be ashamed of Sammy, you're just jealous you're brother's getting laid.''

''Look I'm happy you guys finally stopped being blind idiots in denial, but you're going to have to clean those sheets yourself.''  
Castiel was smiling at the conversation, he was happy it was not problem to Sam, he always known Sam suspected something.. maybe Sam knew before Castiel himself knew. But still, he and Dean we're Sam's brothers.

Sam closed his laptop and announced he was getting a shower for real.

''Owh and Bitch?''

''Yes? ..Jerk.''

''Get used to it.'' Dean said before kissing Cas on the mouth, Castiel almost dropped his coffee on the floor.

''Okay, you do you. But not in the frikkin kitchen okay? Take that stuff to the bedroom.''

Neither Cas or Dean reacted so Sam rolled his eyes and went to the showers.  
Castiel hoped the world didn't end for at least another 20 years, because he finally had what he wanted. His little broken family.  
He would never stop protecting Dean, Sam and Jack.  
And maybe, he would be old and at peace once the Empty came to take him.  
Maybe he would make the choise to become human and live his life out with Dean so the Empty couldn't take him.  
But that was a problem for another time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has come to an end :(  
> I loved working on it, and because I'm a sap of course this had a cute and fluffy ending.  
> Tell me what you thought of this story, I always love to hear your opinions!  
> Thanks for reading and leaving kudos. And this won't be the last Destiel fic I'm going to write, so if you liked this one be sure to check every now and then for future works :) 
> 
> Xoxo Laura


End file.
